Compassion through Mindfulness

by Kasey Castleberry

This sermon was originally presented on 2017 January 01 to the congregation of Mountain Light Unitarian Universalist Church in Ellijay GA.

When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes I will dry them all.
I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough,
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down,
Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.

When you're down and out, when you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard I will comfort you.
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes,
And pain is all around.
Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down,
Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.

We covenant, in our first principle, to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. In our second, we affirm and promote justice, equality, and compassion in human relations. So, as a religious community, Unitarian Universalists are generally rather good in their attempts at comforting the weary and the down-and-out members of society.

When "friends just can't be found", we will stand on your side, on the side of love. Why? Because, as one of our hymns proclaims, we are a gentle, angry people.

Hmmm? For me, that phrase demands a lot of contemplation.

As a practitioner of Joy, the terms "gentle" and "angry" seem to be contradictory. However, as a follower of mondusaif [moan-DEUS-eyef] philosophy, I do love a good harmonic contradiction. [smile]

Maybe "gentle-angry" simply refers to righteous anger dispersed with compassion? After all, there is nothing wrong about getting angry over injustice. Be that as it may, it depends on how you honor that anger that matters, and we all know that if there are ten UUs voicing an opinion, there are at least twelve different suggestions being given.

Interestingly, that is in no small part due to our fourth principle where we are encouraged to freely and responsibly search for truth and meaning. However, when we do so, we have a fair expectation that all of our cherished beliefs are True, at least from our point of view and at that moment in time. After all, no one truly believes something that they know to be false.

Our challenge is to remember that the search for Truth is ever ongoing. That Truth, if it is to have any real meaning, must be malleable to fit within each of life's ever-changing moments. Truth must change, as we change. This fact is what led most of us from the religion of our youths to Unitarian Universalism.

Another fact to consider is that religious belief is a core component of our personality. It can not help but impact other aspects of our lives, including our political beliefs. Notwithstanding, that does not mean that all religiously liberal people have the same ideas about how those beliefs should be implemented into our shared political system.

Remember, UUs are particularly infamous about being divergent in their unity. Trying to get us together, as we are fond of saying, can be like herding cats.

For instance, you might be a strong advocate for social justice but lean towards the fiscal concerns of conservatives, even if you disagree (perhaps even strive against) some of the social policies of whichever candidate gains your support.

We had the opportunity to learn that first hand some weeks ago when some of our politically conservative and moderate leaning congregants expressed their dismay at how blatantly, even caustically, some of our members express their dismay over less-than-liberal political events.

The resulting crucial conversation, with us really listening to concerns and expressing our love for one another, was very revealing. The healing opportunity that it offered was most enlightening and inspired this sermon.

I am trying to be deliberately vague here, because it is not any particular person or any singular issue than concerns us. It is the unified whole of the body politic and the compassion with which we should be interacting with one another, both in congregation and with the greater society beyond our doors, that warrants our attention.

It is important to recall that one of the reasons that we gather as UUs is that our congregations offer us a safe place to share our liberal religious views. Before finding this sanctuary, many of us felt oppressed or at least uncomfortable surrounded by the conservative religious dogma rampant in our region. We came to Mountain Light to escape the scorn that we felt aimed at us for not sharing Bible-Belt beliefs. We stayed because we found acceptance here, a haven where our differences were honored and respected.

I wonder though… Perhaps we have become too embolden in how we speak and act, assuming that everyone within earshot will appreciate our political humor, share our joys and concerns over elections, and hope for the same Usonian state. Instead, we are a divergent people. We should know this, though we might become complacent in our assumptions.

My concern about our beloved, politically-conservative friends is that when we behave as if we are homogenous, that is, liberal on every front, they might feel oppressed or uncomfortable in what should be a safe space for them, as many of us do outside these walls. In our carelessness, we effectively negate the aura of asylum that we so proudly made.

When we bring politics into a House of Worship we risk violating our cherished belief in the separation of church and state. Worse, since so many of us tend to be politically liberal, we tend to assume that everyone in our congregation is, as well. This bias allows for less-than-mindful comments that defame differing political views. Is it surprising that someone might interpret this to be accusations of villainy projected upon ALL conservatives.

You might ask why they do not speak up when we make them uncomfortable, rather than suffer in silence? Surely they know that they are loved and respected here, that we mean them no harm?

The simple truth is that some of us may not be comfortable voicing our opinions. Some of us simply try to blend in, accepting the overall love in spite of our occasional discomfort. Others of us avoid the perception of conflict at all costs. Simply put, they are not psychologically wired to deal with it. If we do not practice mindfulness in our interactions, we risk driving these introverts away. The loss of their voices will weaken us all.

The other side, of course, is that Mountain Light also should be seen as a safe space for those who need to vent or otherwise share their pain about what they consider oppressive, anti-liberal issues. And, it should be fathomable that some liberals would find aspects of many conservative platforms to be morally reprehensible and directed at them personally.

If you are a woman concerned with your right to an abortion, if you are homosexual weary of being treated inhumanely, if you are an immigrant searching for a better life, then many so-called conservative "values" are a very real danger to your inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Your pain should be ours, too, if we are truly compassionate beings.

However, there can be a fine line between expressing genuine agony over a distinct issue and conservative bashing. How we phrase our concerns determines if we are being open minded or bigoted. Addressing particular policies and issues rather than specific politicians or political parties (all of which are too varied and complicated to stereotype) is a possible solution, perhaps an essential one, if we are truly to be a welcoming congregation.

I believe that the challenge will be to keep our comments explicit to the details that bother us and not to make them sound like personal attacks against another belief system, including conservative political views. We should address each issue with determination, not demonize the source.

Neither the name "Trump" nor the word "Republican" should be used as if it were a synonym for "evil". Of course, neither should "Hillary" nor "Democratic" be so used.

The fact is, even the vilest leader has some excellent ideas. Accordingly, even when a political leader has any number of views that seem dangerous to you personally, it is somewhat irrational to vilify him (or her) comprehensively. That sort of disrespect effectively removes all possibility of reconciliation. Fearing some of his (or her) policies, on the other hand, might be a legitimate response, but they can be addressed best when the communication lines remain open. Lasting victories come with conversion or compromise, not through hostility.

It may not always be easy. In fact, it takes a lot of work to offer compassion to those whose beliefs could have harmful implications for us, but being mindful in how we express those concerns will make us better people. Moreover, with kindness, there is even a better chance of getting our point across to those whom would otherwise tend to dismiss all liberals or all conservatives as irrational troublemakers.

In an interview conducted by Oprah Winfrey, after the election, Michele Obama said: "We're going to be there for the next president and do whatever we have to do to make sure that he is successful, because if he succeeds, we all succeed."

Sadly, when the media spotlights the ignorant and bigoted supporters of any particular candidate, it is somewhat easy to dismiss all of his or her supporters as being the same. Whilst some of them may be, for us to assume that everyone who voted for that candidate is an idiot or a bigot would be the exact definition of bias that we would thrust upon them.

Worse, it dishonors our first Principle. We should respect and honor their worth and dignity, even those who actually turn out to be idiots and bigots.

Again, our fourth Principle encourages us to responsibly examine truth, both ours and theirs. Having an open mind means being willing to see the other side of our cherished beliefs, and having an open heart means being willing to embrace everyone, not just those who are easy to love.

In the song "Bridge over Troubled Water", that I chose to sandwich this sermon. The composer, Paul Simon, eventually explained that the "silver girl" reference was an inside joke about his ex-wife fretting over grey hairs coming before she was ready for them. (Mind, I simply pretend that mine are "ash blond" or color them.)

The point is that there are many things we confront in our lives that we would love to change. Some we can change and should. Some we might need to learn to accept or at least learn to coexist with them… or wait them out. [smile] We may not always know the difference, but being mindful of our differences and being compassionate in how we respond to them should give some respite to that fretting silver girl within each of us.

May I point out that is applicable for those who fret over people being too politically correct, as well.

George Eliot said: "What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?"

In all honesty, mindfulness in our how we use our words is a lot of work, but repairing the damage caused by careless words takes even more effort. The important thing is to forgive one another and ourselves when we fall short of our ideal interactions, for we will fall short, from time to time, as we sail through life's trials and tribulations. We are all just human.

Sail on Silver Girl, Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine; all your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine, oh
If you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind,
Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind.